It is. The new (Yes, dating as we know it has only been around for a few decades, in which time, by the way, the divorce rate has sky-rocketed. The possible connection is noteworthy.) recreational activity of “girlfriend and boyfriend” at young ages, with no intent of marriage is one of the craziest experiments in human history, has had some of the most detrimental consequences, and YET, the majority of parents allow it–no encourage it, with hardly any thought to the aforementioned pitfalls.
We’re surrounded this season, by several new families being born, young men and women who have not “dated” until they were ready to pursue marriage, and watching the excitement, the newness of man and woman awakening love for the first time is one of the most fascinating things to me, especially because it’s so rare.
It’s common, when there is a discussion about “dating” vs. “courtship” or whatever you want to call it (because “courtship” means a thousand things to a thousand people, and I don’t even like the term anymore) that people get tangled up in the terms, conditions, and “how-to’s.” Of course those are good things to talk about, but first we need to establish the simple premise that the mainstream form of dating is insane in the first place.
It literally breaks my heart to see Christian parents encouraging an activity that not only has NO roots in Scripture (and actually violates it when you look at the warnings of temptation), but also is a terrible concept, even on a secular plane, for preparing young people for marriage and adulthood.
Recreational dating is:[bullet_list icon=”check”]
a distraction. Just when a young person is in a prime position to broaden his gifts, study, invest time and energy into his family, hone interests and talents, grow spiritually and so many other things, a dating relationship can become all-consuming, robbing him of his best years, time and energy.
unfaithfulness to one’s spouse. An unmarried boy and girl, man or woman, are to treat each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. To do more is to defile a person that will be someone’s spouse one day. Jesus talks about “presenting a spotless bride” for a reason. Purity, body and mind, was, and should be for us, an expected gift that our children give to their spouses.
completely pointless. To be involved romantically with someone you don’t intend to marry is something only the most recent generations think is normal. If you really think about, the idea is absurd and we should be ashamed for going along with this notion born from a self-indulgent, sex-crazed society, made popular when the birth control pill became accessible. That, if nothing else, should give us great pause.
a callousness toward divorce. Recalling feelings as fast as you first felt them and being able to “break up” without consequence, repeatedly, is the worst possible habit to form before marriage.
I am praying for a revolution among believers. That we would think about our choices and hold them up in light of truth, not compare them to what everyone else is doing. If we want something different for our children (it is now more common to be divorced than stay married) why aren’t we willing to raise them differently?
Kelly Crawford is a mom of nine kids who has a passion for inspiring and encouraging women to build godly homes. She has been writing on her website Generation Cedar for over five years, tackling tough issues like birth control, homeschooling and the degradation of the American culture and family. Generation Cedar is named so because she desires to encourage families to raise the next generation for the glory of God–firmly planted and flourishing “like a cedar in Lebanon”. She is also a featured speaker at the 2014 Christian Heritage Conference.
“sorry,” © 2009 ga3lle, used under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/3.0/.